How the Narcissist’s Target is Born: Jason and Caitlyn meet…


Part 4: Jason and Caitlyn meet…

This is the fourth part of a six part fictional series detailing the parallel evolution of the narcissistic relationship.  You can find part 1 here, part 2  here and part 3 here.

Caitlyn met Jason on a Tuesday.  She’d been asked by her colleagues to join them at a local bar for after work drinks.  Caitlyn had recently broken up with her boyfriend of a year. She wasn’t really in the mood to go out, but she didn’t want to sit home anymore either.  She was twenty six years old and tired of feeling sad.

Caitlyn’s friends noticed Jason before she did.  He wasn’t really her type, although there was no question that he was handsome. Her first thought was that he was too handsome and very sure of himself in a calm way.  He wasn’t overtly flashy like her ex had been and she appreciated that. 

Jason spotted Caitlyn the minute she walked in.  She was beautiful, but didn’t know it.  He could tell by the way she stood.  She touched her hair a lot, an awkward gesture that told him she was just that little bit insecure.  And there was something sad about her.  It was always the best time to seduce someone, when they were just a little bit damaged.

He wandered over to her and her group, pausing to talk to her friend first.  He didn’t want to make Caitlyn realize she was his target.  When he finally got around to speaking to her she was already laughing at something he’d said indirectly.  When he turned his body towards her and unleashed his focused attention she’d already warmed up to him.

Caitlyn couldn’t believe a guy like Jason could be so kind and funny.  She’d been so used to being ignored by her ex.  When he’d broken up with her two weeks ago it didn’t necessarily change a lot about her life. But Jason wanted to know everything about her.  And it was amazing that he liked literature and cooking and wandering through the city.  Her ex had always wanted to play video games and sit on the sofa watching football.  

Before the evening ended Jason had Caitlyn’s number and had sent her a text asking for a date before she even arrived home.  The next morning he sent her a ‘Good Morning’ text and a funny meme to go along with it.  She went to work with a smile on her face for the first time in months.

Her phone pinged throughout the day.  Jason was so attentive. She’d never experienced anything like it.  Maybe her ex had done it in the beginning, but then he stopped paying attention to her.  Surely this wouldn’t happen with Jason. They had too much in common.

Jason was pleased at how quickly Caitlyn responded to him.  He’d been getting bored of Melissa and Caitlyn was definitely an upgrade from her whining.  He’d already received three texts from Melissa wondering what they were doing on Saturday.  Considering that he was taking Caitlyn for lunch and then to his favorite museum, Melissa was finished.  He’d text her on Friday to let her know he wasn’t feeling well.  Until he had Caitlyn locked in he wouldn’t get rid of Melissa completely.

Caitlyn spent the rest of the week on cloud nine.  On Friday she went out and bought a new dress for her date with Jason, something she could wear with boots so she wouldn’t look too dressy, but she wanted to look nice for him.  She couldn’t believe how quickly she’d forgotten about her ex.  Obviously she hadn’t been in love.  And Jason made her feel things that she hadn’t felt in a really long time.  He was so smart and interesting and he asked her so many questions.  She’d never had anyone so interested in her before.

Saturday arrived and Jason came to pick her up at her apartment.  It was a magical day.  He’d picked a vegetarian restaurant because she’d told him she didn’t eat meat.  He knew how to order the perfect wine and they laughed so much.  Two hours went by in no time at all.  Then he took her to the Museum of Modern Art.  She’d had no idea he was so smart about art too.  It was the first time in her life she actually felt kind of dumb.

Jason loved looking at Caitlyn.  Her eyes were lit up in the museum.  She had no idea it was where he took all of his first dates.  He’d memorized the tour guide years ago and when they changed an exhibit he just updated what he knew.  She was beautiful in her casual, but dressy outfit, clearly newly purchased and designed to impress him.  He liked that she made the effort.  Trying hard was essential in anyone he dated.  It wouldn’t be any fun for him if she didn’t try. 

They ended the date with a very long and heated kiss.  Jason would have Caitlyn in his bed by the next week, but he wanted to make her wait just a bit longer.  He liked being her prince and he knew from experience that she’d eventually do something to screw it up, and he enjoyed the beginning so much. 

Caitlyn couldn’t believe she’d met Jason. She hated to use words like soul mate, but she really thought he could be hers. He was just so perfect and lovely and he didn’t even pressure her for sex, and he just listened.  She’d never met a guy she could tell everything to, she didn’t even know guys like Jason existed. 

Jason had insisted they take a selfie when they were walking around the city.  She spent the rest of the evening staring at the photo of them together and she even imagined what it might be like to marry him.

Jason looked at the photo he’d taken of them.  He always made sure to take a photo as soon as possible.  It cemented him in a woman’s mind.  The sooner she had photos of him, the sooner she became enamored.  

Sometimes he was disappointed that it was so easy, but every single woman fell the exact same way.  He just had to listen to them drone on about every little thing and then they were his.  It was made easier because he was tall and good looking.  He didn’t discount his natural attributes, but he also knew exactly how to reel them in.  And he liked Caitlyn.  She had class and he noticed how men watched her when they walked into the restaurant.  He liked having a woman other men wanted.  He sent Caitlyn one last text before he went to sleep, telling her what a lovely day it had been and how he still tasted her lips.  He left the five texts Melissa had sent on ‘read’.

The following week Caitlyn spent the entire weekend with Jason.  She’d had plans to go out with her girlfriends on Friday, but he’d convinced her to cancel because he couldn’t wait another day to see her.

Jason was pleased that Caitlyn had changed her plans.  It was always one of his first tests, to see if a woman would choose him.  There was no point in moving forward if she didn’t. He needed Caitlyn under his complete control.  It was also why he made the sex they had that night all about Caitlyn.  

‘Oh my God,’ it had been the best sex of her life.  As in all things Jason made it about her in every sense.  Three orgasms later and she was sated and glowing. Jason was the most perfect man she’d ever met.  

By the end of the weekend Caitlyn was sure she was in love.  In fact she didn’t think she’d ever know what love really was before and then when Jason said it on Sunday night, after less than two weeks of knowing her, she just knew it was destiny.

And with one ‘I love you,’ Jason had her hooked.  He smiled as he looked at her.  Now the games could begin.

Lessons learned:

Narcissistic love bombing follows very specific patterns of total adulation and attention.  The narcissist focuses on you like no one ever has in your life.  Within a matter of days the narcissist will be all you think about. 

It is common that the narcissist can pick a vulnerable person out of a crowd.  They have a sense for who is easy to manipulate.  The first time you cancel your plans then they know they have you. 

Early warnings of love bombing are never ending text messages, too many compliments and having everything in common.  It isn’t normal for another person to be just like you. 

The only way to be truly safe in the dating world is to slow it down and limit communication in the beginning.  A true narcissist needs adulation and will leave you alone if it is not forthcoming.

Please come back next week for the continuation of the story when Jason’s devaluation of Caitlyn begins…


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Catherine Stuckey, M.A.
Having taught English for years I never thought I’d be translating what the narcissist says to other people.

I’ve spent four years researching the world of narcissism, through work, dating and personal interviews. My mission is to help others recognize narcissism and through this recognition stop the narcissistic cycle from continuing.

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