Part 6: Jason and Caitlyn break up
Part 6: The narcissistic relationship between Caitlyn and Jason has ended after a year together. This is the sixth and final part of a fictional series detailing the parallel evolution of the narcissistic relationship. You can find part 1 here, part 2 here , part 3 here , part 4 here and part 5 here.
Today was the first day Caitlyn didn’t wake up in pain. It had been five months since her relationship with Jason had ended. He’d sent her a text, ‘Can’t wait to see you tonight, baby.’ The problem was that she wasn’t in the city. She’d been traveling for work. The text hadn’t been meant for her. When she’d called him, Jason had said she was overreacting, but she’d had enough.
He’d apologized, sent flowers to her office. She’d actually believed he was sincere for about five minutes, until she received a photo on her Facebook account from a woman named Stacey. There was Jason with Stacey, looking as happy as could be in the tie Caitlyn had bought him for his birthday two weeks before the ‘hey baby’ text that hadn’t been meant for her.
After Caitlyn ended it a second time then Jason got mean. He contacted the friends of hers that he’d met and told them she needed psychiatric help, that he was worried about her depression. That Caitlyn didn’t have depression was not the point. He wanted to look like the hero.
It was about this time that Caitlyn found a link to narcissism on her Facebook feed. When she read the details she couldn’t believe how similar it was to her and Jason, the same idealization, devaluation and discard. Caitlyn then immediately went and got an STD test after she’d read that narcissists were notorious cheaters. Thankfully she was fine. She went ‘no contact’ and blocked him from all of her devices. Caitlyn also asked her friends not to tell her if he spoke about her. She didn’t want to be tempted to defend herself. She changed her routine so the memories of what they’d done together wouldn’t invade her senses and she took up a new hobby, Pilates. She wanted something just for her.
Jason, on his side of the breakup was furious that Caitlyn had gotten away. He hadn’t expected her to break up with him. No one did that. He was always the one who ended things. Damn Stacey and her need to ruin everything. He was already bored with her. Stacey wasn’t Caitlyn. He knew that now. Stacey had been a waste of time. Caitlyn had class and everyone was impressed when he’d brought her around. And now Caitlyn’s friends had stopped talking to him. He had no access to her. She’d made all of her accounts private and she hadn’t accepted any of his friend requests under the aliases he’d created. He’d stopped by various restaurants they’d gone to, but she was never there. It was like she’d just disappeared.
Caitlyn decided to go see a therapist. She wanted to know why she’d chosen to date someone like Jason. In the sessions she’d discovered that she was a classic over giver and optimist. She had something called ‘Super Traits’, elevated traits of empathy and agreeableness. Basically she believed in the good of people and it made her trust someone like Jason. Her therapist told her not to get involved with anyone new for at least a year.
Today was the first day that Caitlyn finally felt good again. She understood herself better now. Jason hadn’t been good for her. Everything had been about what he wanted to do, and mostly that was lying around on the sofa, watching tv and letting her pay for everything. The man she’d met in the beginning who liked art, and culture, who enjoyed going for walks and having great conversations had only been a ruse, a character designed to lure her in. What she’d learned was that she didn’t want a ruse. She wanted the real thing. She wanted to be around authenticity, not someone who changed his personality when he got bored with the role he was playing.
And today she felt grateful that she had experienced Jason because now she knew what she didn’t want, and she’d learned with therapy to protect her super traits, to give herself time to get to know someone, to not project all of her hopes for HER future onto someone else. It was her job to make her own life, not the responsibility of someone else.
Five months later and Jason had met someone new. Her name was Samantha and she was much better than Caitlyn. Samantha wouldn’t disappoint him. He had tickets for the museum for that Saturday. Samantha was super excited. It was always so easy with new women and they all loved the museum. He had to read up on the new addition to the exhibit before Saturday.
Jason had seen Caitlyn the other day on the street. She’d been walking by herself and smiling. He’d been about to approach her, but then Stacey had shown up. Caitlyn walked by and didn’t even notice him…
Caitlyn was one of the lucky ones. She managed to get out of her relationship early. She also found a competent therapist who actually had her look at her own characteristics that had made her a target, not to blame her, but to empower her. Caitlyn needed to take responsibility for her own super traits, to not give her trust to those who hadn’t earned it.
Caitlyn also didn’t dive back into dating. She gave herself time to heal and asses herself as opposed to trying to get her quick fix with another person.
Jason learned nothing. A narcissist will always do what works. The museum works so he uses it although he has no interest in art. By ‘accidentally’ sending the wrong text to Caitlyn he’d assumed that she would feel jealous, that he would have more control, not less. Triangulation had been a tactic that had worked for him in the past so he’d assumed it would work again.
The next step was Jason trying to convince Caitlyn’s friends that she had mental health issues. Jason simply couldn’t accept that Caitlyn would leave him and he had to publicly smear her. ( Note: If your friends agree with a stranger about you, then find new friends. )
The ending of a relationship is never easy, but it’s made worse by games of manipulation. If you suspect you’ve been in a toxic relationship with a narcissist please get the help you need, whether it’s through therapy or books and online reading.
Knowledge is always power!